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    July 12

    公司在聚短的时间内把经理变成outside sales...全公司震惊,心里怪怪的,还是挺不舒服。回到家看到可爱的儿子,劳工。不变的是家里的亲情,自己的能力和永恒的生活的主题。
    July 07

    Just for Sake of Reminding Myself- 10 Big Mistakes Parents Make

    1) Spoiling kids 
    There is no doubt that parents love their kids and want them to have all the things they didn't. However, this comes at a price. A ton of well-intentioned parents have ended up spoiling their kids to such a degree that the kids aren't even happy with all the stuff they have. This causes them to never be satisfied and always want more. Junior doesn't need one more piece of crap, what he needs is some special time with his parents. Think of it this way: How will they ever be prepared for disappointment throughout their life—or learn to be thankful for anything?

    2) Inadequate discipline
    When you're too lazy to adequately discipline your kids, you pass the little devil you've created on to your relatives, coaches, teachers, and his friends' parents. It's not OK to let your kids treat your house like it was a Jump Planet because that's exactly how they'll treat other people's homes. They should also be much better behaved when they leave the house and visit elsewhere. I've lived through this nightmare first-hand, with the same kid at my house treating my $1,500 couch like a trampoline, and then calling my daughter "ugly" while the kids were eating dinner. All within a 15-minute span. If you don't discipline your kid, someone else will—and you won't like it.

    3) Failing to get involved at school
    School is where your kids will spend more time than any place besides your home. It's also the place that will have the most responsibility for shaping their life—from teachers and their peers. That being said, how can you not want to be involved in what's going on there? It doesn't matter if it's you or your spouse: Your family needs to have a presence at that school. And don't use work as an excuse—take a vacation day if you need to. You'll see immediately that it's time well spent. You should also have at least an e-mail relationship with their teacher. It's a great way for that teacher to see that you're interested in your child's development, and the teacher can alert you to anything concerning that may be going on with your son or daughter. Your kid's teacher may take a much more active role with your child if they know you're keeping close tabs.

    4) Praising mediocrity
    While we all want to encourage our kids to do well and build their self-esteem, there is a point of going too far. Building a child's self-esteem is great, but having a big party for a mediocre accomplishment skews what they view as a real achievement. One big place I see this is in sports. A participation trophy for anyone over the age of 6 just ends up devaluing the meaning of a real trophy. It's happening in my own household. While I was against trophies for my 7-year-old son's basketball team, a few moms overruled. My son has played exactly four seasons of sports and has earned more trophies than I did in my 40 seasons growing up. Something is out of whack.

    5) Not giving kids enough responsibility
    Your kids shouldn't be expecting any payment for doing chores around the house. It's a home, not a hotel. That being said, an allowance is a great idea … for extra work. They should be pulling their weight as part of the family. If they grow up without enough responsibility, how in the world do you expect them to hold down a job, or get through college? When they get "of age," make sure they're taking some of the burden off you around the house—from unloading the dishwasher to picking up dog poop in the backyard. While they're not your slaves, they sure aren't on vacation, either.

     
    6) Not being a good spouse
    How you treat your husband or wife is very important to the way your kids will develop relationships, especially as adults. If you treat your spouse poorly, or if your only way to settle any kind of dispute is to yell and scream at each other, you're teaching your kids to handle themselves the same way. Kids learn from watching you much more than they learn from listening to you. If you treat your spouse with love and respect, it will also show your kids the value of their family. It will also make them feel their family is a safe haven in what can be a dark, scary world.

    7) Setting unreal expectations
    When dealing with kids, you need to set reasonable expectations for them—especially the little ones. If you want to go out to a nice dinner and expect your 2-year-old to sit there like a little prince, you are setting yourself up for major disappointment. Also, if you have visions of a football star and your son weighs 80 pounds and likes to play the clarinet, you need to reset those expectations. Don't have unreal expectations for your kids: The expectation you should have is for them to be happy.

    8) Not teaching kids to fend for themselves
    Many parents tend to baby kids these days and cater to their every need, and that eliminates the value of hard work and becoming independent as they grow into adults. I fear that we're raising a generations of wimps. Kids nowadays expect everything to be done for them, from cleaning their room to band-aids for hurt feelings. Teaching them to toughen up and do things on their own doesn't mean that you love them less; it means you love them more.

    9) Pushing trends on kids
    Let kids be kids. Parents shouldn't push their trends or adult outlook on life on their kids. Just because it was your life's dream to marry a rich guy doesn't mean we need to see your 4-year-old daughter in a "Future Trophy Wife" t-shirt. The same goes for the double ear piercing—that's what you want, not them. Teaching kids about your passions is great, but let them grow up to be who they are. And yes, this goes for you pathetic stage parents as well. It's hard enough for kids to figure out who they are in the world without you trying to turn them into what you couldn't be.

    10) Not following through
    I have trouble with this one sometimes. If you're telling your kids that they'll be grounded if they paint the neighbor's dog one more time, you'd better follow through. Unfortunately, following though on punishments or promises makes your life a little more difficult, but building trust is what's most important. If you're not true to your word, your kids will assume anything you say is just talk. Then you have a real problem on your hands. You'll also end up with kids who don't trust their parents.

    July 06

    小胖可以站起来了

    今天把小胖放在床上睡觉,一如既往很费劲,想干脆让他哭,哭睡了算了,就放下小胖离开了。在门外听小胖哭,知道应该没事,就听了三分钟,还在哭,就进去看看,我的天,竟然把着床栏杆站在那里哭!真是长本事了。就把小胖抱起来,放在另外一个屋的床上,再拍一拍,小胖按着喜欢的侧卧的姿势睡着了...
    July 01

    美国大选-随便想想

    希拉里落选民主党总统候选人,可却加入了对手的同盟,前对手资消除助债务,参加演讲竞选。我很佩服,因为:
    1. 有宽阔的胸襟,不管“历史”的对抗多激烈,都能拿得下面子,加入同盟;
    2. 有智慧,可能会成为副总统?从中学习,不会颓废,退出政治舞台的关注中心;
    3. 是步好棋,Obama没法拒绝,别人可以说如果Obama赢了,是希拉里帮的忙(这肯定是),如果O输了,说明民主党的Super Delegates又做出了错误的选择,而不是希拉里在做别的小动作。 债务也没了。
    4. 有谋略,显示了以大局为重,团结党内的力量,再次显示了leadership的风范
    5. 坚强,是优秀女同胞的表率,面对全国的支持者,反对者从容自若,不服输。

     

    好烦,发发牢骚

    婆婆比较奇怪,上午天儿是阳光灿烂,等下午下班回来以后就是阴天,也不知道发生什么,说话态度就一个180度转弯。高高兴兴一时,过一会儿就有不知为什么把脸拉的老长。象是谁欠他钱。问问劳公:)还没发现呢 (好!走万事无忧路线的)。
     
    不过,从我的角度也没有啥办法,只能装作没看见,高高兴兴说话,痛痛快快作答,在博客里发发牢骚,猜猜可能又在胡思乱想了。重要的是自己的情绪不能因为别人莫名其妙的情绪打扰。等儿子长大,我也会在同样的角色,那我做什么准备扮演好这个角色呢:充实自己,开阔视野和心胸,多多朋友,多多兴趣,控制情绪,让自己的性格更随和,不和儿子媳妇住一起...还有啥补充的?